Happiness and a Maniacal Monday

                                                       


It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.


It all started last night with the kids talking me into a state of exhaustion.  Then I stayed up later than I should, stuck on the phone for close to an hour, then trying to make up for that by staying up late to prepare my environment for the week.  Then I slept later than I should (7:15am).  Then the moment I got downstairs to take out the whining puppy, I hear this:  "Cry, cry, cry.  Mommy, I need to come out.  Cry, cry, cry."

Then the next thing I know, they're BOTH downstairs by 7:45 - at least an hour earlier than they have been this summer.  Uh, hello?  Still on summer time, anyone?  I am. 

And for an hour, it all went downhill from there.  You know.  Everytime I turn to my oatmeal, something gets spilled, someone yells, someone hits someone, someone's crying AGAIN.  I threaten things like sending them back to bed until they wake up "more rested and ready to take on the day." 

Isn't it amazing how LONG 60 minutes can seem sometimes?  Interminable.  Endless. 

And then, breakfast ends and everyone evens out.  And the day, thankfully, turns out good. 

Do you ever have those mornings that challenge your happiness, make you feel PISSED from the moment it starts?  How do you break out of it when it happens?  Today, it was a combination of luck and attitude.  Attitude is everything.

My Happiness Project -Time

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Do you consider time to be your friend or enemy?  I have times when it's my utter enemy - I get up extra early to get things accomplished and Youngest wakes up 20 minutes later, thus giving me no time.  Or lots and lots of time, hours upon hours, where I sit thinking about all of the things I planned to do that I can't do until much later. 

That kind of thinking makes me angry.  When I don't live in the moment, I get angry.  Makes it fairly obvious to say I should live in the moment, then, right?  It's hard though, we all know that!  How we "think ahead," which is necessary, but it causes us considerable grief in the moment and makes us not appreciate where we are right then. 

Sometimes, though, time is my friend.  Youngest slept 2.5 hours one day last week and Oldest spent the entire time creating her own personal "Pokemon handbook."  I had the full time to myself and was able to actually think, follow through and do some much needed planning that I hadn't been able to do for a couple of weeks.  It made me feel so happy.  I was able to live in the moment with the kiddies that afternoon because I'd been so productive in the hours before it.

Time.  Productivity.  Living in the moment.  Each one leads to the other.  If I have time, I can be productive.  If I'm productive, I can live in the moment.  And then feel happy. 

So on those days when it's no time and therefore no productivity, I still haven't figured out how to live in the moment.  Have you?

My Happiness Project - July = Pursue My Passions

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

So waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in January when I planned the year of My Happiness Project, July was to be BOOK MONTH.  I couldn't wait for it, because one of my biggest passions in life is reading, as I've listed on here before, numerous times. 

I planned to buy and read books, catch up on the books lining my nightstand (my goal for the month was 5 - waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in January I thought summer was perfect for leisurely reading with the kids).  More importantly I planned to do some things with the books I plan to write - I was finally going to start outlining them.  Or at least one of them.  And the books I've been neglecting were going to get some love - the family scrapbooks. 

Sigh.  Life changed between then and now and I've had to tailor this month.  I'm going to try to read 5 books still, but I have to table my plans to outline MY book(s).  This saddens me.  I have ideas, good ones (they're always best when viewed inside your own brain, aren't they?), but I have no time right now.  Maybe soon, or maybe I'll just have to continue to jot things into my book file on the computer when something really rears its head. 

And as for the family scrap books?  I really, really want to start working on them.  Maybe my first step will be to download that digital software I purchased in April.  Yep, can't start the digital scrapbooks until the software's in - even I know that.  Then see if I can carve out an hour a week for the rest of the summer.

What am I going to do to "buy happiness" this month?  I'm having my organizer come back and help me with my office.  It's the one place I've been LOATHE to tackle since I began doing the home re-org in February.  And it's yucky.  Unhelpful, time consuming and unattractive.  I've waved the white flag on doing it myself.  She comes tomorrow.  Hopefully we get some good work done.


What are you doing with the lazy days of July?  The halfway point of summer?  The time when summer's still pretty fun and we're not yet in that hard, hard part of August where it's TIME to go back to school (by the bickering and back to school shopping), but the calendar doesn't SAY it's time yet (because you still have 3 more weeks to go)?


Poor Missy.  I guess I'll head to the pool.  ;)

My Happiness Project - Mid Year Review

Well, well, well.  Here we are at the end of June.  6 months into 2010.  6 months into My Happiness Project, as defined by Gretchen Rubin and her lovely book with that title.  I thought it would be fun to check into my psyche and see if I'm happier.

My day to day ups and downs are very much related to the kid's moods - and mine.  If they're really difficult or low, I am too.  Then my bad mood will perpetuate theirs and create a circle that it's hard to break out of. 

I do believe, though, that I'm generally happy.  "Things happen" (or as popularized on a bumper sticker years ago) "shit happens."  Life it hard.  It takes effort.  Almost all of the time. 

But to quote the movie, Life is Beautiful too.  In all of its heartache, challenges and difficulties, life is quite beautiful and satisfying. 

Tonight I made a mistake in judgment on the way home from a party.  I convinced everyone to stop for Chinese food at 8:20pm.  We didn't get our order until 8:45, didn't get home until almost 9.  The kids weren't happy with their choices, everyone was tired and I just wanted to be done with my "mommy duties" for the night.  I got crabby with them as I was rushing them to bed.  Then Husband came upstairs to sing our family song before bed, saying "Your dog just had an accident, ladies."  Oldest immediately jumped up, said, "I'll take care of it - Mommy's having a rough patch here and I want to help her out." 

And that, right there, is why life is so beautiful.  Discovering your child really is developing empathy and a sense of community, underneath all that "kid stuff" that we get caught up in so often.  Getting glimpses of the adult they will become - seeing all of your hard work beginning to shine through, even if only for a moment.

Among other things, what I'm going to focus on in the 2nd half of 2010's Happiness Project is the process.  I will not arrive at happiness on December 31st this year, because happiness isn't an end state - it's found in the journey. 

What will you focus on in the second half?

Have a Happy Day. 

My Happiness Project - it Worked!

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Pollyanna Week Part Deux is concluded.  And was mostly successful the second time around.  Wearing those silly, silly, silly bands seems to have done the trick.  Looking at them on my wrist really did help remind me to Carpe Diem with Joi de Vivre OR Seize the Day with the Joy of Life for those of you who don't want to decode latin and french today. 

Plus, the routine is getting more established  - and in a house where routine is about as important as sleep, that helps considerably. 

You know what was the best part of the week?  When I told Oldest why I wanted to wear them, she said, "that is the BEST idea EVER, Mommy!  Let's all do Pollyanna week!" 

So sometimes My Happiness Project brings unintended, positive results.  I like that very, very much.  Though I've had to tailor my original plan for the Project to accommodate my newly acquired volunteering roles, responsibilities and opportunities, here I am coming to the halfway point and can say it's definitely, absolutely, positively worth it. 

What are you learning on your happiness quest?  Anything helpful?  I hope so . . .

My Happiness Project - Pollyanna week - BLEH

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Last week, I declared the month of June to be attitude month - I was going to have a good attitude about summer, its highs and lows, its banalities and boom weeks.  I also declared last week to be Pollyanna Week, as defined by and suggested by Gretchen in her book. 

What a colossal failure that was!  To just say "this week is Pollyanna Week," with no guidelines or boundaries, no PLAN for it was disastrous.  So by Saturday when I yelled at my kids in the car, violating one of my other resolutions for the year (NO YELLING - EVER), I realized that one way to guarantee unhappiness is to set yourself up for failure. 

Because then, not only are you unhappy about WHAT you're failing at, but you're unhappy about the fact that you've failed! 

So THIS week it's Pollyanna week AGAIN.  And maybe next week too.  I'm gonna do it till I do it right, darnit! 

Here is how I'm going to do a better job of Pollyanna week this week (most of these borrowed from Gretchen):

1. Wear a reminder bracelet.  What better way to remember to act "Pollyanna" than by wearing a large bracelet to remind me?
2. Think of things I don't like in a positive way.  Instead of "I hate laundry," how about "laundry provides clean clothes and folding warm laundry is the best."
3. Don't talk about things that annoy me.  This one's tough b/c I have to talk about some annoying things this coming week.  Hmmm, what to do?  Maybe it's to refrain from talking about the FACT that they're annoying, just get through them.  Grin and bear it, if you will.
4. Engage in "downward comparisons."  See your good fortune and blessings in relation to other's challenges.  For example, someone, somewhere lost a loved one yesterday.  I didn't.  I am blessed.  Someone will learn they have a life-threatening illness today.  I don't have that - I am blessed.  That kind of thing.  I talk about it a lot - "appreciate these moments - even the annoying ones - they won't last forever." 
5. Get back to it - NO YELLING AT THE KIDS.  EVER.  Until this week, this has been rather easy.  A variety of happenings made me fall off the wagon this week - but I'm getting back on.  Nothing makes me angrier than when I allow my anger to overwhelm me and lose my temper with the kids. 

 So there you have it - Pollyanna Week Part Deux. 

OR if these don't work, maybe I should just lock myself in my room for a week?  Instant success!

My Happiness Project - Attitude is Everything

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.



It's June and this month I picked "Attitude" as my Happiness Project subject.  Why?  Because as I said last Wednesday, summer time isn't my easiest time of year. 

I don't get as much time to do my work, though it's still there.

I am the one responsible for occupying my children every day.

I don't like bugs.  Or excessive heat.  Or sunburns.

It's tiring. 

But summer's great too:

I get to reconnect with the kids.

They get to recharge from a hard working school year. 

I'm reminded that slowing down is one way to appreciate life. 

So June is about attitude.  I can drag myself, kicking and screaming, into summer and all of its extra togetherness, or I can remind myself (like I so often do) that this time is so short. 

June's resolutions:

1. Have a welcome to summer family party.  Whether it's going out to dinner as a family, spending an evening at the pool, or doing a real party at home.
2. Do Pollyanna week.  Gretchen talks about one week that she did this.  No matter what was tossed her way, she responded with good cheer and a good attitude.  My week will be the first full week of summer - which begins today. 
3. Don't talk about my aggravations.  Sometimes it helps, but sometimes it just perpetuates them.  Have you noticed that?
4. Be easy to please. 
5. Buy happiness - buy new sheets for our bed.  Nice ones.  What a great way to promote a good attitude - soft sheets.
6. Don't listen to negative reviews.  Or in other words, don't promote gossip.  I'm doing this because the pool tends to become a cesspool of gossip about kids, husbands and people not there that day.  I'm not going to be a part of it - who wins in that situation?  No one.

So what would you do do foster a good attitude in a month when that's harder than others?  I would love to hear your attitude resolutions. 

My Happiness Project - Memorial Day

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

I am happy today, for the reason I take for granted every day. 

I am free, I live in a free country, I have freedom of speech, assembly, freedom of choice. 

I have all of these things because countless, nameless soldiers have gone before me to ensure that freedom.  They have died for love of our country, for protecting its freedom.  They still die today for that same reason. 

NOT ONE inconvenience in my life is more important than the men and women who have sacrificed their life to help protect mine.  Not one. 

So I am happy today for all of my blessings, the #1 of which is my freedom, guaranteed by others. 

Happy Memorial Day.

My Happiness Project - The Lost Edition

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Today is an interesting day.  Last night, as millions of people know, was the Series Finale of Lost.  And it was thrilling, it was everything I'd hoped it would be, it was awesome.  But it was hugely disappointing too, though not in the sense that I didn't get answers or feel "ripped off." 

In the sense that I'm floundering today, thinking about how sad it is that Lost is no more from today forward.  Why does this make me so sad?

Because Lost was a mystery I could enjoy.  It was one that was thrilling in its distance from my own life.  It was a way to appreciate something without having to be the one coming up with the answers.  It was safe. 

We all have mysteries in our lives.  Some of them are quite difficult to solve and there's no clear answer.  Solving some carry a huge amount of responsibility.  Some solutions we pick may not be shown as the "right" solution for many years to come.  It's the old "hindsight is 20/20" maxim, right?  Some answers that seem good now, may end up looking colossally bad in the future.  Some painful solutions now that people are unhappy about may prove to have been the right, correct way to go - but not show that for awhile. 

We all have mysteries.  Lost was a big, big mystery for me that helped take away some of the challenges of my own myteries.  And I will miss it for that. 

My Happiness Project - Are you an Abstainer or Moderator?

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

I've wanted to raise this topic for months, but it kept getting backburnered.  And it bothers me.  I don't LIKE the fact that our personalities sway one way or another. 

Head over to this post at Unclutterer.  Gretchen's raised it on her blog too, and it's in her book.  In a nutshell, Gretchen's assertion is that you are either an abstainer or a moderator.  Abstainers, in order to "stop" something, must do it by giving it up entirely.  Moderators, on the other hand, are easily able to reduce the amount of times they do something and don't have to give it up entirely.

I don't like this notion because I don't want to be an abstainer, but I think that's what I am. 

If I buy cookies, I will eat them all within a couple of days, "just to get rid of them and get back to behaving."

If I open a bottle of wine, I will finish it within two nights, "so it doesn't go to waste."

If I order a meal that has a huge portion size, I'll eat it all rather than saving the rest for later, "because it tastes good."

If I start a book that's good, I'll stay up late and ignore my responsibilities to finish it "and get back to my real life."

You get the point. 

I don't like this though, I don't think it's fair.  It makes me resentful of myself and I feel like it sets me up for failure over and over. 

I don't want to be this way, that the only way to "find happiness" is to avoid things that are bad for me.  Because sometimes, it's fun to splurge a little.  The issue is that once I start (with food, especially), it's very hard to stop.  And that's where the moderation thing comes in.  I want to be able to do things in moderation and it makes me unhappy that my history says I can't. 

But now, I've purchased a book called Women Food and God, and from what I can tell, she will be talking about how to become a moderator.  I heard it on an Oprah commercial.  I don't even watch Oprah, but the commercial was tantalizing enough that I Googled it and found out about the book.  I bought it Friday and am quite interested in its premise.  I'm hoping it helps me become a better moderator, because I'm getting tired of this all-or-nothing pattern I've established. 

So I'll keep you posted. 

And this is a good reminder that in my quest to find happiness, I'm still going through periods of unhappiness as I figure it all out. 

My Happiness Project - the Hangover

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.


I have a hangover today.  It's a happiness hangover. 

We got back from our little adventure yesterday.  You know, traveling 2000 miles to see a band?  In a word (and this is normally a word that I hate b/c it gets overused to the point of no longer having meaning) -

IT WAS AMAZING. 

I will be boring you with the details all week.  Our impressions of Canada, what it was like to spend lengthy, quality time with Husband, the concerts, bungee jumping (yes, I have a video I will post). 

But I missed my kids.  SO.  MUCH. 

I won't pretend the first 2 days weren't spent giddily enjoying the adult time.  For example, flying on an airplane with only my own self to care for was wonderful. 

But by the time I woke up Saturday morning, I was aching for them.  I read a newspaper article (YES!  We actually lingered over the paper in the mornings) about a dying mother and the steps she'd taken to properly say goodbye to her children and sat bawling in McDonald's. 

It's the juxtaposition of happiness that Gretchen talks about in the book - sometimes things that make certain parts of you really happy, make other parts of you unhappy. 

So today I recover from the happiness hangover.  The rest of the week?  Details.

My Happiness Project - How Do You Do Assignments?

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Do you do projects by assignment or deadline? 

By assignment - when you learn you need to do something, do you try to do it closer to the time you learn about the assignment? 

OR

By deadline - do you look at the day or time an assignment is due and start doing it closer to that deadline?

For example, let's say you get something assigned to you today on April 26th, with the knowledge that its due date is May 7th.  Do you start working on it right away, today, or do you wait until next week, maybe Wednesday, saying "I have plenty of time to get this done?"

As a general rule, I am a "by assignment" kind of gal.  If it's assigned today, I want to get started today.  I want to have time to devote to the project, leave it for a few days, then maybe come back to it in the couple of days before it's due and look at it again with "fresh eyes."  I try to do that with my blog posts.  I try to write them a couple of days in advance to give myself time to come back to them and revise.  I don't like to just write, glance over, then hit "publish post."

This makes me quite happy. 

What can make me unhappy is when I have no choice but to operate by deadline.  It stresses me out.  I feel like the opportunity to make mistakes is much higher when I'm operating close to a deadline.  And I feel like I'm a "day late and a dollar short" when operating by deadline. 

What kind of person are you?  Do you operate by assignment or deadline?  And why does that work or not work for you? 

Happy Monday!

My Happiness Project - the Year I became a Grown Up

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

The year I became a grown up was is 2010.  Yes, ladies and gents, Missy turns 39 years old THIS WEEK and one would think I became a grown up long before now, but it is true.  This is my year.  

Why?  Why, Missy?  Why this year and not:

~the year I left for college, and learned to do laundry as an 18 year old?

~the year I got bought my first home and my first dog?

~the year I got married?

~the year I had Oldest?

~the year I had Youngest?

All of those years had "growing up" qualities that changed me, certainly, but in none of those years did I truly feel "grown up."  I felt more like a kid pretending to be a grown up, if that makes sense.  

This  year, though, it's different.

~We had thousands of dollars in home improvement costs this winter.  Nothing makes you feel like a grown up more than learning the consequences of letting things slide in your home.

~I said yes to a major leadership position that will begin this May and is a year long position.

~Husband and I are taking our first trip away from the kids this Spring as well.  I've never spent a night away from Youngest and I've only spent 4 nights away from Oldest - two of which were in the hospital having Youngest.  

When I started My Happiness Project in January, I mapped out the entire year, and it didn't include all of these big girl things.  I've since had to change much of the year of My Happiness Project to allow for the time the leadership position is going to require.  

To a certain extent, this makes me sad.  I thought I had it all set what "discovering my happiness" was going to consist of.  But I've now had to accept that part of discovering my happiness will be the growth and change that have accompanied the changes above.  

So what does "becoming a grown up" have to do with happiness?  Not much, except to say that happiness comes in all sorts of disguises and doesn't necessarily mean smiling, laughing and having an all around good time.  

I might learn in the second half of this year that happiness means giving of myself to a mission higher than myself.  

And no yelling.  No yelling is becoming one of My happiness project's keys.  

My Happiness Project - March Madness

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

How'd I do in March?  

My goals for March were child-centered:

1. Stop yelling.
2. Read 2 parenting books.
3. Finish our Family Mission.
4. Have family meetings and family nights.
5. Have Polite Nights on Sundays.
6. Buy Creative Memory Software.
7. Continue no TV (except one show per day).

The tally?

1. I yelled at them 3 times in 31 days.  Awesome.  We were all so much happier.  It wasn't like my brain was a pressure cooker either, like I had expected.  Knowing I "couldn't" yell (or else I'd have to put an X on that column in my scoresheet), made me so much more willing and able to work things through with them, instead of just jumping to yelling.
2. I read Best Friends, Worst Enemies and Siblings without Rivalry.  Both were awesome - highly recommend them and will likely be topics of future posts.
3. We finished our family mission on March 7.
4. We had 6 family nights, and for busy season, that's pretty darned good.
5. Polite night.  Fail.  Didn't do one.  Might have to wait a little on that concept and plan.
6. I bought my Creative Memories software - can't wait to use it.  In a couple of years, at the rate I'm going.
7. And the no TV thing went great.  Now we're back to one a day per child, for a total of 2 per day and it's still just lovely without TV.  

Other resolutions from previous months:

1. I'm giving up the 1 sentence gratitude journal.  I'm an expounder and to say what makes me grateful in one sentence per day is kind of like punishment.
2. It's now spring, so we will no longer be eating at home 4 times per week.  Maybe summer.  We'll see.
3. Exercising  - I exercised 26 days out of 31 in March.  
4. Food journal - not as good, but I'm sticking with it in April.  It's a great way to stay legal.

There you have it!  I highly, highly recommend making a no yelling resolution.  What a great gift for my children - and me!

My Happiness Project - April is ME Month

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

April!  The month I've been waiting for - the all-about-me-it's-my-birthday month!  Which is a little laughable, because as I'll share in a couple of Mondays, it's SO not all about me starting very, very soon.  

I planned it, though, allllllllllllllllllll the way back in January, to be about ME and the things I love.

What?  What do you love, Missy?  I know you are sitting there, rapt, waiting to hear what my indulgences are.  Here we go:

1. I'm getting a pedicure, facial and massage.  I normally do these things once a year and n-e-v-e-r in the same month.  That's way too frivolous and self-centered.  
2. I'm trying one new restaurant and one old favorite.  One of my greatest pleasures in life is dining out (without kids) at a fancy-ish restaurant.  
3. I'm doing dinner with girlfriends.  I'm letting too many friendships lapse because of being "too busy."  People I really care about and miss.  
4. Making my bucket list.  I have a really old one, from the end of college.  Wonder how much it will change?
5. I'm taking a nap each week this month.  
6. I'm finally, finally, finally getting my laptop.  
7. I'm treating myself to some new makeup.
8. I THINK I'm going to build my blog sans blogger this month.  This may need to be re-thought in light of some recent developments, so we'll see.  

Gosh!  I feel elated and selfish at the same time looking back over this list.  I feel embarassed to actually put into writing that I'm spending a month indulging myself this much.  I feel like I should say, "no I'm kidding - I actually don't deserve this."  Because the truth is, like so many of us out there, I put myself last 95% of the time.  And most of the time, that's OK.   

So if YOU were to spend a month treating yourself to your favorite things, what would it consist of? And what do you think of my list?  Share with me.  

My Happiness Project - Post Vacation

It's Happiness Monday (well, Tuesday, don't sue me)!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

My vacation - Cliffs Notes Style:

We went.

We sunned.

We funned.

We slept.

We ate.

I drank.

We read.

We walked.

We swam.

We bonded.

We loved.

We played.

We didn't stay.  

We said goodbye.  

Life awaited us at home.  

Now we're back - refreshed and ready to plow through Spring.  :)

My Happiness Project and Spring Break

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

In keeping with last week's theme of contradictions, this week is about "knowing when to take a break."  Loving my Children's Gifts will be on Spring Break for the next week.  

While on break, my happiness will (hopefully) consist of the following challenging decisions and nothing more:

1. Beach or Pool? 
2. Cocktail hour at 5pm or 5:30?  Or 4?
3. Breakfast in or out?
4. Would you like fries with that?  (yes)
5. Go to bed early or stay up reading?
6. 1 Sudoku puzzle a day or 2?

While I'm gone, take this time to check out old posts!  Get to know me a little better.  Peek in my closets, look in my medicine chest.  Talk about me behind my back (as in - make comments that I won't see for a week).

Here are some of my favorites to get you started:

Birthday Parties in the old days 
Birthdays now

Losing TV when grounded
Giving up TV for Lent

The Day before School starts - sob

The Day I Locked it up for Mom of the Year

A letter to my Friend I miss so much

When a 2 year old falls in a window well and gets stitches

Thanklessness - it's maybe OK.

Being a Grown Up 

All my Super Sundays in One easy spot

What you DON'T want your child to tell their teacher

Missy's Maxims

Paci Go Buh-bye

The Castle and the Purple Dragon

I heart Albus Dumbledore

I can't wait to see you upon my return!  Until then, Happy Blogging!  

Missy

My Happiness Project - Contradictions

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

One area the book explores - the contradictions you find in happiness.  For example, in my own life, the tug-of-war between "work hard every day, marking things off my to-do list" and "take time to enjoy life."  

This past week gave me a good study in that.  If you didn't notice from three different posts, we had a birthday last week.  Oldest turned 8 and much of the week was spent doing celebratory things with her:

1. piano recital Tuesday night
2. cooking with her class Wednesday afternoon
3. wrapping presents and baking her cake wednesday night
4. family time thursday afternoon and evening
5. a dinner and dance Friday night
6. family coming to spend the day and evening Saturday

And we had fun.  Lots and lots of fun.  The kind of fun where you say, "we need to have more fun like this."  The kids were great with each other, it was wonderful to spend time with family, baking the cake with Oldest rather than buying it was so much more memorable, cooking with her class gave me insight into what a wonderful class she has, etc, etc.  

Now it's Monday, and guess what my to-do list looks like?  Well, I'm not really sure because I haven't even made it yet!  It is going to be L-O-N-G, to say the least.  Combine that with our pending spring break trip and this week is a recipe for little, if any, down time.  

And you know what?  That's OK.  Really.  As much as I say getting my to do list accomplished every day is a major source of my happiness (and it most certainly is), I wouldn't have taken away one thing from last week. We loved it, we all connected deeply and we strengthened our family bond as we head into what can sometimes be a tough month for our family  - the 30 days leading up to tax day (Husband is a CPA).  

And celebrating birthdays makes us all really happy.  It's that person's special day and they deserve to be honored.  

What about you?  How do you celebrate birthdays?  Do you do the week long celebration like us?  

Happiness Project - Did I Win the Gold in February?

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

Today I come clean about February.  Its ups, its downs, its successes and failures.  

Successes:

1. I decluttered a lot of junk from this house.  Bookshelves, closets (4), art cupboards, puzzle/game drawers, the attic (completely cleared out to make way for the insulation installation this month), Husband's cupboard of "stuff we'd all forgotten about."  Every Monday of February, at least 2 extra bags of JUNK went out with the trash.  That made me feel gooooooood.
2. My nagging task list - when I made it, it had 70 items.  On February 28th, it was down to 31 items, which rocks.  Plus I fixed my wedding ring, which I've been putting off for at least 5 years.  Seriously.
3. Eating in.  We were supposed to do it 16 times in February and we did it 15 times.  
4. Keeping a food diary and exercising - 24/28 days and 25/28 days, respectively.  And I lost a pound.  Not a lot of weight loss, but 10 pounds in 2 months is.
5. Training the puppy.  She's doing awesome.  Really.  I only mutter about giving her away a couple of times a week now.  HUGE improvement.

Failures (or, if I'm positively framing, "areas of improvement"):

1. Decluttering - I still have a lot of work to do.  I saved my "office" for the end and it's still a work in progress.  Plus I want to do things in the basement.  So decluttering has been bumped into March and has a weekend role around here.  
2. Evening tidy up.  I found I don't really care about this.  The house isn't THAT messy in the evening, so why go around and make sure one dog toy is off the floor before bed?
3. Going to bed.  FAIL.  ABORT.  SOMEBODY NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.  Really - what is my problem with this?  I only made it to bed at a reasonable hour (10:45 was the goal) 15 times in February.  And some nights it was really, really late.  I see the direct correlation with my mood and a good night's sleep, so why am I having such a hard time doing this?  I'm really asking, people.  Any help would be appreciated on tips to sticking to a reasonable bedtime.  Getting all my STUFF done during the day would help, I'm sure, and Youngest's newest plan to not nap in the afternoon is certainly throwing a wrench into that, but still.

And there you have it!  How did you do in February?  Did you try anything new?  Find success?  Did you fall off the resolution wagon?  My little notebook of accountability (I check things off nightly) really, really keeps me on task.  It's a tip from Gretchen.  I recommend it.

Remember that this month for me is "all about the kids," but you could make it about anything you want!

Time for Some Tough Love Around These Here Parts - Wednesday

Originally, this was to be a post about tough love for Youngest.  Now it's about tough love for both children.  Yay.

Youngest
The Official Goodbye to Paci Weekend happened 2.5 weeks ago.  Hind sight tells me I misinterpreted Youngest's reason for waking up nightly (sometimes repeatedly).  It wasn't because she needed her paci replaced.  It was just a good ol'bad habit.

Which has continued since Paci went buh-bye.  Add to it that she's taking close to an hour to fall asleep at night and has only been sleeping a little over an hour for her nap, and we've got one over-tired toddler on our hands.

And you know what that means - Mama's overtired and getting C.  R.  A.  N.  K.  Y.

Oldest
Last night Oldest really, and I mean really, showed herself at gymnastics.  No less than THREE times she took off (much like a toddler) to do a running jump into the pit, with the teacher calling, "Miss Oldest, Miss Oldest - it's not time for the pit.  Come back to class and participate!"  Which she would, AFTER she did what she'd decided to do.  In her defense, her friend was doing the same thing and sometimes peer pressure is a great motivator.  It's also a great teaching  moment for a parent.

Tough Love
So in keeping with my March resolution to NOT YELL (which SOMEONE needs to give me a cookie for being able to keep from it yesterday), we're having ourselves a little tough love 'round these here parts.

Cry It Out for Youngest and Grounding for Oldest.
Youngest is 2.5 years old - which is plenty old enough to sleep all night without a little pat, cuddle, re-tuck, drink, or question anywhere from midnight to 5am.  And I'm never going to reach a state of semi-rest if I'm catering to her.  And if I'm catering to her and therefore tired, I'm WAY more likely to yell during the day.  Because I'm mad at myself for this going on so long and because I'm TIRED.

Oldest?  This isn't new.  Sometimes she really has to stretch the boundaries of behavior to remember what her privileges are.  Don't all kids?  She's going to choose from a menu of consequences when she wakes up.  She will need to choose two items and most items last three days (for 3 times of not listening in class).  Things like no dessert for 3 days, no computer for 3 days, sitting out the last class, not taking gymnastics in the spring, going to bed early for 3 days (I'm kind of hoping for that one).

Seem harsh for either one of them?  Not really - if there's one truth I'm learning in my own project - sometimes to get happy, you have to get through some unhappy first.  And that's going to be for all of us for the next few days.

**Special Note:  As I finish this, it's 6:30am.  Youngest USED to sleep until 7:30/8am, but is right now up there starting to call out.  This is MY time - one of the few times a day someone else isn't asking for something from me.  Her waking up strengthens my resolve that IT IS TIME.

What about you?  What tough love have you done recently?  And what does it take to get you past "minor consequences" to the tough love stage?