Shave A Dog - Freak the Family Out

When the groomer called and said I'd rather use the shaver than the clippers, I said, "You know best, does shaving her mean she'll still have hair?" 

She said yes.  And I suppose she DOES still have hair. 

Lilly on May 9

Lilly on May 21st

Oldest bawled and said she looked horrid, Youngest asked what happened to big Lilly and is little Lilly still Lilly, Husband said she looked horrid.

Me?  I found her antics much cuter when she looked fluffier.  But I'm still feeding her, taking her outside, and playing with her.  You know, like a mom.

Moral?  Never think a shaver won't create a noticeable difference. 

Super Sunday Series - Disappointment

Welcome back to the Super Sunday Series - where I speak to all topics gifted and how they relate to your child's well-being.  Please click on the tab above if you want to discover more about the Series and its topics.

Here it is, the END of Super Sunday, and I'm just now writing my post.  Truth be told, I had no plans to write today because I wasn't able to properly research a topic this week.  

Then, VOILA!  A topic presented itself in a shining display this morning.  Disappointment.  How does your gifted child handle it?  

Mine?  Not well, most of the time.  Today was exceedingly not well.  Last night was the Spring Gala for Oldest and Youngest's school.  Really good time.  Raises a boatload of money, and we always come home with some "big win" for the family.  Last year it was a custom made dining room table (which is gorgeous and can extend 3 extra feet), this year it was a shower curtain with Oldest's class pretending to be monkeys ironed all over it.  We knew both girls would be super excited about it.  

Then, disaster.  Every year the art teacher does centerpieces that include each child's face - 275 kids.  She has the elementary kids help with their own and with the early education kids (birth to 6).  Oldest made her own this year and then a friend made Youngest's and matched their outfits.  Oldest was so proud and couldn't wait for us to bring them home last night.  

Well.  THAT PUPPY Lilly got hold of Oldest's "person" this morning and chewed half her face off and a leg off before I got to her.  

I realized that it was fixable, but sadly, not before Oldest woke up.  

She was devastated.  And I'm talking SO devastated, it's giving rise to a Super Sunday Series entry.  She's come so far, that sometimes I forget how destroyed she can get when something really traumatic happens to her.  

In her defense, I understand why she was so upset.  She worked so hard on "herself," and to have the puppy eat it was just devastating!  

BUT.  

She was so over the top about it, for so long, and with so much absolute refusal to JUST.  STOP.  that it almost got ugly.

Screaming at her sister to get away from her when she walked up to say "Can I hug you to  make you all better?"  

Walking, literally bent over at the waist on the way into church so that everyone at church could see how devastated she was.

Multiple statements of "it's ruined, it will never be better, I'm ruined because it's ruined, etc"  

Just painful, painful behavior.  And I was very, very sympathetic.  Until I wasn't.  Which was at the time that I pulled her from church, took her downstairs, sat her in a chair and said, "OK. Get all of your ugly, painful feelings out right now.  We're not going back up until you do.  Then if you persist in acting the way you have been for the last HOUR, you and I are going to have a very serious problem on our hands (which is code for " you'll be in big trouble, lady").  

So she got it all out, we shared a hug, she pulled herself together, we all had a great day.  

I don't want to change her.  I don't want to expect her to be a different child than she is.  But I don't think I'm being unreasonable to say that I want her to handle disappointment much better than this.  Really, even 30 minutes of bellyaching at home would have been manageable.  It's this NEED of hers to broadcast disappointment publicly that makes me crazy sometimes.  

This morning, she had actually starting getting over it, then the moment we hit the church parking lot, she started up again.  She seems to have a need to prove to anyone she sees that she's as disappointed as she is.  And if we lean in and say "Cool it, get a hold of yourself," she will work all that much harder to show us she can't get hold of herself.  Often to the point where she gets in trouble.  And she came very close today.

Am I the only one with a child who does this?  What can I say or do to help her manage this better?  I do not know.  

Dear So and So

Dear Merry Go 'Round - 

Please slow down.  I'm getting dizzy.

Signed,

I never liked those dammed Merry Go Rounds anyway

Dear Grey's Anatomy

I don't like the everyone-having-sex-with-everyone storylines.  People really don't live that way, do they?

Signed,

But I keep watching you anyway

Dear That Puppy Lilly 

Stop mounting me.  You are spayed and you are a girl.  

Signed,

I don't care what the vet says about this being an attempt at dominance, I say it's mounting.  When a dog is pulling your foot down and then trying to rub her privates on said foot, that seems a lot like mounting to me.

Dear So and So

Dear Children - 

Thank you for attending school, sans illness, all week long.  

Signed,

Mommy's gonna keep you after all!

Dear Friday Follow - 

Midday Escapades, One 2 Try and Hearts Make Families are hosting once again.  Enjoy.  I do.  Thank you again, ladies.  What a wonderful way to discover new blogs each week.  It's like having a free pass at the candy store.  And Mom's not there to tell you when to stop.  

Signed,

Anyone wanna help a girl reach 200 today?

Dear That Puppy - 

I think you ARE calmer!  And you're having accidents in the house much less.  Maybe I can send you in for a little nip/tuck every time you misbehave.

Signed,

Best $330 I've spent all year

Yes, they are lame this week.  If you want better ones, head over to Kat's place for some more Dear So and So fun.  

Dear So and So - I Am Clearly Obsessed with Winter's Wrath

Dear Kat -
Still my favorite day of the week.
Signed,
Wit = fun and if you want more, head to Kat's place.

Dear Old Man Winter - Part I -

MY HOUSE IS LEAKING.  LEAKING!  I feel like I live in a log cabin or am on Survivor.  LEAKING, I say!

Signed,
I expect Old Man Winter to be a crotchety old coot with bad manners, but this is a bit much, buddy.  You're going to "the home" if you don't start minding your Ps and Qs


Dear Old Man Winter - Part II -

I love my children.  Really, I do.  We have had 34 possible school days since coming back from Christmas break.  Guess how many days they have both been at school where they belong?  TWENTY!  YES, that's right!  20 out of 34 full attendance days since we came back from Christmas Break.  That's 59%, which, by anyone's fuzzy math calculations, is an F.  AN F, I SAY!  And you know what "F" stands for in the lexicon of a former Criminal Defense Attorney who had to find the quickest and most effective way to communicate with her clients?  Yes, you are correct - F in this instance does NOT stand for Family Friendly, which I will NOT continue to be if the snow/sickness rotation doesn't stop.

Signed,
No wonder I'm half crazy

Dear That Puppy -
Today we celebrate our 4 month anniversary with you.  In honor of that, I am taking you to the vet, where they will open you up, remove your female parts and then send you back to us, sterile and calmer?  Please let that answer be yes, calmer.

Signed,
Still working on the whole alpha dog thang

Dear Follow Friday

Yay!  Midday Escapades, One 2 Try and Hearts Make Families if you're interested.
Signed,
A girl who loves finding new blogs EVERY.  SINGLE.  WEEK.

Dear So and So

It's Dear So and So day!  Yippee!  Fun!  After reading about my "issues" this week, head over to Kat's place - for some more hootin' and hollerin'! 

Dear That Puppy Lilly - 

Hi.  This week we celebrated our 3 month anniversary of owning you.  Here's a recap of each month, one sentence each:

1st month - I can do it, it won't last long!
2nd month - What in God's name have I done?

3rd month - You are no fun.  At all.  (ok, that was two)

4th month - The times, they are a'changin' - b/c Momma's goin' all Alpha Dog on you, little Missy.

Signed,
Doesn't it feel GOOD to take charge and Alpha Dog something?  Will you LOOK at that submissive pose you're striking?  Now THAT'S what Momma like.


Dear That Puppy Lilly - AGAIN:

Now that I'm all Alpha Dog on you, let's get something straight.  Eating the rabbit dung in the yard is making me want to hurl.  Then coming in and wanting to licky, licky my facey, facey.  HURL.

Signed,

Gross doesn't even begin to describe it - I might like it better if you licked YOURSELF before trying to lick me.  Ok, maybe not.

Dear Hair Dresser/Babysitter -

You know how to make a girl feel good too.  Thanks for the awesome hair.  And thanks for loving my children. 

Signed,
When does a woman get to old to be unnaturally blond?  Whatever the answer, I'm doin' it 10 years longer. 

The clock's ticking and other musings

Remember my goal to complete at least 23 books this year because, for heaven's sake, the last time I read that few books I'd given birth to my first child who cried for 6 months straight? 

I have one more to go and 5 days to do it. 

Can I?  Can I?  Huh, huh, can I?

I'll let you know.  Gotta get back to the grind. 

On another note, here we are in Sunny Florida - if you've forgotten the obnoxious Frosty remix from a few days ago. 

I haven't been on Facebook for 5 days and guess what?  I don't miss it!  I'm kind of over Facebook right now.

What do I miss?  All of the little TLC touches I give my little bloggity-blog every day.  Sigh.  Guess I'll go back to the beach. 

From our last trip to Florida.  Because, sadly, I'm too busy drinking cocktails and sitting on the beach reading People to download pictures from this trip yet.  Oh wait . . . I still have young children.  I'm too busy drinking cocktails and yelling louder than the seagulls to tell my kids "WATCH FOR THE UNDERTOW" in the water.  Just kidding - I'm YANKING them out of the undertow. 

But I'm not too busy taking that puppy out at all hours of the night.  Ahhhhhhhh, sleep GOOD.

Next musing:  I thought people moderated comments b/c they wanted to make sure people weren't posting hate mail before publishing it.  So I was all about NO comment moderation for ME - I can take the hate mail if it comes.  I used to be a Public Defender for goodness' sake!  Talk about hate mail!  Since being here, I've gotten two spam comments - one about vegas gambling and one about someone asking if I think they're sexy.  What do you all do about spam like that?  SO annoying - here I'm all excited that I'm getting comments and it's fake-o ones like that?  Grrrrr.  I might have to moderate after all!

So, the next time I write a post we'll be back in Ohio - sigh.  Poor us.  Unless we don't get out of the airport because of the enhanced security thanks to that idiot who tried to blow up the Detroit airplane.  Seriously?  I thought we had that security stuff all worked out.  Grrrrrr again.

And finally, I hate cilantro.  Just had to get that out there.  I feel all better now.

See ya on the flipside!

Dear So and So

Welcome to my second week of Dear So and So.  It's gonna be hard to reach the level of wit from last week, filled with the Christmas cheer and all, but let's try, shall we?  Then, when you're finished here, head over to 3 bedroombungalow to see what other fun and games abound today. 

Dear Missy's Goal of 23 books by 12/31 -

Hello, big mistake.  How are you?  Me?  Stressing over you.  Today is December 18th and by my math, that means I need to read almost three of you in THIRTEEN days to reach my goal.  I just started Dan Brown's new one.  What's it called?  Oh, yeah, "fast paced action novel about codes and trickery, with a little murder and mayhem thrown in."  Plus I'm slugging through "SuperFreakonomics" and can you say, "Super Freako Good?"  Well worth the read.

Signed,

The Little Engine Who Better Get'er Done!

Dear $50 bottle of wine -

Is tonight the night for you, my little full bodied girl? You play your cards right and it just might be.

Signed,
Nothing like wrapping Christmas presents with Little Vino to help a girl out


Dear That Puppy of ours, Lilly -

We've had you for 2 months tomorrow, my poofy wittle friend.  Lucky for you, I now no longer hate you love you very much.  I'm actually taking the sign that said "free to any home, just take her" out of our front yard looking forward to seeing you when we've been apart ALL NIGHT LONG now.  Thanks for that, by the way.  I really can't explain to you the importance of sleeping all night without howling.  Your continued stay at Casa Taj Mahal is proof of my gratitude to you.  One tip - let's stop eating hair whenever any of us lie on the floor, K?  

Signed,

Kisses, but not in the mouth - that's gross

Dear Formerly Elusive Sleep -

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for coming back to me.  I will never treat you poorly, take advantage of you, take you for granted, or scoff at your importance again.  If you promise, (PROMISE ME I SAY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA??) not to leave me so unexpectedly again.  I know you SAY you left because Youngest had three molars coming in at once and because that puppy couldn't sleep through the night.  But I think you were testing my love for you.  And I do love you, I DO!  Let's talk about it a little more.  First let me get my soft pillow and blankie, my ugly yet effective wool socks, my flannel pants and my overly-large University of Dayton sweatshirt on, then we can talk a little more.  Ohhhhhh, yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?????

Signed,

Missy and sleep are having a moment (possibly even 7 hours of snooze time), she'll be back on Sunday with the Super Sunday Series

Ta-ta for now!

Dear Santa

Why a letter to Santa?  From a grown-up?  Because Santa is magic and he brings things you can find nowhere else. 

Dear Santa -

Please see my enclosed wish list for Christmas this year.  I have bolded and italicized those things most important for a fulfilling 2010.  I hope this letter finds you well, fattening up for the big trip.  I could use a little less fattening up from the last few days, but I'll address that below.  Tell the Missus I say hello.  I'll bet it's hard to be a single mom with you so busy the entire month of December.


Missy's Santa List - Christmas 2009. 

1. Sleep dust.  Sprinkle a little on myself each night, enabling me to stop doing things and just go to bed.  Seriously, buddy.  I really mean it this year.  I've been asking for this since Christmas of 2002, which, coincidentally, was the year Oldest was born. 

2. A blogging fairy.  Can you bring me a little fairy who can run around my blog enhancing it?  I would prefer this at night, so I have fun little surprises to wake up to (besides the current fun little surprise of what time Lilly's going to wake up each day). 
3. An office organization fairy.  Same idea as #2.
4. Willpower widget.  After the "most wonderful time of year," I ususally need that pretty badly.  Just click and voila!  Instant willpower.
5. The Instant Einsten.  I have many, many, many things I still want to learn.  Sadly, my time is limited.  I'll give you my "subjects," you download them to a chip and then I just insert them in the back of my neck. 
6. The Motivator.  Our family, as a whole, has challenges leaving the house on my time schedule for certain functions.  I am tired of this.  The Motivator will, of course, "motivate" them to get to the car when needed.  It even does this without pain for the first 20 times someone is running a little behind, which I think is a nice learning curve for our straggler(s). 
7. The Silence is Golden Switch.  I mainly need this for the car.  Flip that little switcheroo and Ahhhhhh, instant silence.
8. Rudeness Repellant.  I think this comes as a perfume.  I wear it, people are unable to be rude around me.  Everyone's happy(er).
9. Lie Detector.  Always wanted one.  Don't like liars.  Period.
10. And the ususal - Peace on Earth, Goodwill to men and maybe a few more date nights for just the two of us thrown in for giggles.
11. OK, one final thing - the H1N1 House Bag.  No one in our family wants the Swine Flu.  Especially this "stronger strain" or "more virulent spreading" that "they" are saying might happen this spring.  So the Bag I'm talking about needs to be large enough to fit over our house - kinda like the turkey bags some people just cooked with on T-giving.  Bow to tie it off is optional. 

Santa, I've scoured the stores for these items and they're just not there.  Target, WalMart, specialty stores, Macy's, Nordstrom, Best Buy, Sharper Image, - nuthin' - all sold out, apparently.  I have faith in you, my long-time benefactor, to pull through for me this year.  Let's make it a GREAT 2010! 

Hugs and Kisses,
Missy

Little Secrets on a Saturday Morning

I had a great post planned for this morning about little things I do around the house that no one notices.  I was even thinking about "outing" myself a little bit.  At least using my real name and state.  I'm getting kind of tired of keeping up with the anonymity.  At least with myself - it's worth it for the kiddies.  To me. 

But now it's a post, once again, about my fatigue on a Saturday morning.  It's starting to feel like this:

Let's say everyone starts the day with their "happiness dial" at a certain number - say 100.  I like to make things easy that way.  When it comes to math at least.  I have a huge "thing" about doing things in multiples of 5, actually, but I digress.

Back to starting your day at 100.  Throughout the day, your dial rotates back and forth.  The kids bickering over breakfast might dial it back to 90 because they are ANNOYING YOU.  But then on the way to school you hear Party in the USA by little ol'Miley and that dials it up to 110, because hearing your sweeties sing it full blast is so stinkin' CUTE.

By the end of the day, on a great day, you might be at 150.  Say, Thanksgiving night after successfully pulling it off for the first time and receiving tons of compliments (but I'm not stressed!).  At the end of a particularly difficult day, you might be at a 50.  Say, the night before Thanksgiving because you're worried you won't pull it off for the first time (again, no worries here!).

You get it?  The target number for contentment is 100 in my little example.  Anything higher is bonus, anything lower means it's been a bit o' a bad day. 

For the past 3 or 4 Saturdays (I can't pin it down because they are literally running together at this point) I feel like I'm starting my day at a 50. 

This puppy, Lilly, seems to have a real propensity for hours long overnight crying on Friday nights.  Last night it was due to several bouts of diarrhea in the bathroom.  Last week it was because Husband fell asleep on the couch and she could smell him.  The week before that, I don't know.  I do know the week before that was the final night I got up with her because I couldn't take it anymore. 

Obviously, somethin' different's happenin' on the weekends that is messing her, and therefore moi, up.  In the middle of the night, listening to her, I am so furious, I'd put the dial on a 10 - it's that bad.  By morning, I'm probably up to a 50.  Not happy.  Today it's probably starting at a 40 due to the mess I got to clean up in the bathroom as well.

So I can look at this optimistically and pessimistically, right?

Optimist's approach - I have no place to go but up.  It can only get better. 

Pessimist's approach - There's no way I can get to maximum contentment on the dial (100), let alone really happy (>100), when I'm starting at a 40. 

What should I choose, friends?  Today's the BIG GAME in our college town.  The game many people wait for every year.  In a very short time, we're supposed to go to a 100 person driveway party, featuring a band.  We're bringing doughnuts.  And I'm listening to Youngest sing "Gwinkle, Gwinkle wittle star" through the monitor as I finish this, rather than waking up crying. 

Yes, I agree.  MUST go the optimist's route.  "We" have a game to win today.  :)

Super Sunday Series tomorrow - tips and tricks on dealing with your little perfectionists, or your own perfectionism. 

Have a great Saturday.  Go Team!

Puppies - Do They Reek or Rock?

**edited - I can't BELIEVE I spelled puppies wrong in the title this morning!  Signed, Really do know how to spell, just tired  :)

We've had the Puppy for one month.  In honor of her, I'm making a list (and checking it twice) about the Reasons Puppy Rocks and the Reasons Puppy Reeks.

Puppy Reeks

1. I've lost 100 hours of productivity.  Can't get more annoying than that.
2. I've lost around 60 hours of sleep.  So it actually can get more annoying than that.
3. Teaching a 2 year old not to hit, kick, sit on or ride a 2 pound animal is a nightmare difficult.
4. Teaching a 7 year old not to yell and scream at 2 year old over #3 is also a nightmare difficult.
5. She kind of looks like a rat.  Especially when wet.

6. Cleaning up puppy accidents is not my idea of a good time.
7. Looks like besides #5 (though you never know what they're going to look like), I could have gone ahead and had that third child since the puppy hasn't been much easier.  A child would have at least given me 9 months to get my affairs in order and emotionally prepare.
8. Parasites aren't fun to deal with.  They came along for the ride.

Puppy Rocks

1. She's finally sleeping through the night, if 10:30-5:30 counts.  To say I'm not a morning person is an understatement.  As a matter of fact, I consider 5:30 am to be night. 
2. The kids love her and she will teach them many, many lessons about responsibility.
3. She's pretty cute, for a fluffy white rat.  I DID really love Templeton from Charlotte's Web.  In a gross, gluttonous kind of way.
4. She's making it outside to do her business 75% of the time.  In a month, I guess that's acceptable.
5. Puppy cuddles are pretty yummy.
6. The parasites are gone and with them, the loose bowels.  HURRAY, me. 

Looks like the Reeks outweigh the Rocks.  BUT, based on #2 of the Rocks, we'll keep her.  I'm a sucker that way.  ;)

A Step in the Right Direction?

Monday, I was called to school unexpectedly.  I love it when the teacher starts by saying, "She's fine."  Because we know there's a "but X happened" coming when they begin that way, don't we? 

I haven't received a call since Kindergarten.  And while I'm not going to give the basis behind the call (I really DO have boundaries with this blog - swear!), I CAN talk about the emotions it brought out of me.

I expected her to be in a full meltdown.  I expected a litany of "I'm so stupids."  I expected to need to talk to the teacher about how to transition her back into class without major drama after we took care of our business.  I expected her to scream "LEAVE ME ALONE" at her sister who was VERY concerned about why we were going to school and wanting to give her a "feel better" hug.  So empathetic, that one.

What I got was a calm, collected, composed child who, truthfully?  I didn't really know how to handle.  I'd been bracing myself for every other time I'd ever had to come to school in years past and was completely blindsided by this kid I discovered.

Wonderfully blindsided.  Drop me to my knees and make me want to sob blindsided.  With relief that she self-regulated?  Disappointment that she didn't need me to kiss away her hurt?  Heartbreak over my baby growing up? 

Probably all of the above.  I know I say it a lot, but the day to day minutiae - so hard.  So UGH.  The major milestones of independence, though - heartwrenching to Moms everywhere, I bet. 

This particular one, though, it's stuck with me.  Because of the last 30 seconds of our visit.  My newly composed Big Girl kept it together until we finished our business.  Then I said "I'm proud of you - how about a hug before you go back?"  She replied, "Sure Mommy.  Can you give Lilly (our puppy) a hug for me too?"  And THAT'S when she started crying.  That's when my Little Girl peaked back through the Big Girl we found when we arrived. 

Oldest and I, we've been through so much in these 7 short years of her life.  So many times I am so exasperated with her I could just scream.  And I sometimes do.  But Monday, I wished for a moment or two that she still needed me as much as she used to.   

Being needed feels pretty good, you know.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that the whole point of raising your kids right is to achieve moments like these. 

Moments where they take another step away from you - toward independence. 

It's True - the Best Gifts DO Come in the Smallest Packages

Lilly came home yesterday.  I just have to let the pictures speak for themselves.  :)

What wonderful lessons about responsibility and life this little bundle is going to teach my girls!  Can't wait! 

Is it Love or are we C-R-A-Z-Y?

This little bundle of joy comes home with us next Monday.  After a wedding weekend.  During possibly the busiest fall I've ever had.  With no puppy experience (the last puppy I had came when I was 7).  I'm crazy, right? 

But, then again, just LOOK at her!  How can she be resisted?  Clearly, she cannot, as I only went to LOOK yesterday, then bought like the biggest impulse shopper on the planet.  The recession MUST be over!

Oldest, who wept with joy (which, of course, made me weep - it's really no wonder where weeping comes from with that one), has offered to donate FIFTY dollars of her own money toward puppy supplies.  Talk about warm and fuzzy feelings.  THAT makes it worth it right there - to hear her so willingly give up her own money to help support a family project.  Do I have a future philanthropist on my hands? 

And Youngest?  Will you just look at this?  She's getting more mischievious by the day!  Tonight is Gymnastics.  Can't wait to see (actually dreading because I SO want her to) if Oldest is able to make good choices per our talk last week.  I'll let you know.