My Happiness Project - How Do You Do Assignments?

It's Happiness Monday! I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book. Check out her website for more information. And buy the book! It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.

Do you do projects by assignment or deadline? 

By assignment - when you learn you need to do something, do you try to do it closer to the time you learn about the assignment? 

OR

By deadline - do you look at the day or time an assignment is due and start doing it closer to that deadline?

For example, let's say you get something assigned to you today on April 26th, with the knowledge that its due date is May 7th.  Do you start working on it right away, today, or do you wait until next week, maybe Wednesday, saying "I have plenty of time to get this done?"

As a general rule, I am a "by assignment" kind of gal.  If it's assigned today, I want to get started today.  I want to have time to devote to the project, leave it for a few days, then maybe come back to it in the couple of days before it's due and look at it again with "fresh eyes."  I try to do that with my blog posts.  I try to write them a couple of days in advance to give myself time to come back to them and revise.  I don't like to just write, glance over, then hit "publish post."

This makes me quite happy. 

What can make me unhappy is when I have no choice but to operate by deadline.  It stresses me out.  I feel like the opportunity to make mistakes is much higher when I'm operating close to a deadline.  And I feel like I'm a "day late and a dollar short" when operating by deadline. 

What kind of person are you?  Do you operate by assignment or deadline?  And why does that work or not work for you? 

Happy Monday!

My Happiness Project - April is ME Month

It's Happiness Monday!  I love My Happiness Project, where I decided to spend a year "finding" happiness with the help of Gretchen Rubin and her awesome book.  Check out her website for more information.  And buy the book!  It's never too late to start your own Happiness Project.  

April!  The month I've been waiting for - the all-about-me-it's-my-birthday month!  Which is a little laughable, because as I'll share in a couple of Mondays, it's SO not all about me starting very, very soon.  

I planned it, though, allllllllllllllllllll the way back in January, to be about ME and the things I love.

What?  What do you love, Missy?  I know you are sitting there, rapt, waiting to hear what my indulgences are.  Here we go:

1. I'm getting a pedicure, facial and massage.  I normally do these things once a year and n-e-v-e-r in the same month.  That's way too frivolous and self-centered.  
2. I'm trying one new restaurant and one old favorite.  One of my greatest pleasures in life is dining out (without kids) at a fancy-ish restaurant.  
3. I'm doing dinner with girlfriends.  I'm letting too many friendships lapse because of being "too busy."  People I really care about and miss.  
4. Making my bucket list.  I have a really old one, from the end of college.  Wonder how much it will change?
5. I'm taking a nap each week this month.  
6. I'm finally, finally, finally getting my laptop.  
7. I'm treating myself to some new makeup.
8. I THINK I'm going to build my blog sans blogger this month.  This may need to be re-thought in light of some recent developments, so we'll see.  

Gosh!  I feel elated and selfish at the same time looking back over this list.  I feel embarassed to actually put into writing that I'm spending a month indulging myself this much.  I feel like I should say, "no I'm kidding - I actually don't deserve this."  Because the truth is, like so many of us out there, I put myself last 95% of the time.  And most of the time, that's OK.   

So if YOU were to spend a month treating yourself to your favorite things, what would it consist of? And what do you think of my list?  Share with me.  

Albus Dumbledore Said My Favorite Quote

It's our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities. - Albus Dumbledore

Yes, I quote Harry Potter books.  I love them and am not embarassed to admit it.  I would wait (like so many others) with breathless anticipation for the new ones to come out and then devour them like candy on Halloween night.  

I hate that they are finished because I'm not one of those people who can re-read a book I love.  I think there are just too many great unread books out there to find, so that's where I focus my energies.    

The quote above came from Albus Dumbledore, headmaster at Hogwarts to Harry toward the end of book five (? - Potter Enthusiasts - correct a girl if she's wrong).  Harry, on the eve of adolescence, wanted all the answers, easily and quickly.  He wanted his abilities to open more doors for him than he felt was happening.  

Professor Dumbledore, among other things said in that conversation, said something which bears repeating:

It's our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities.

Do you ever find a line in a book that is so profound to your life at the time that it changes you?  


This one did for me.  We were just learning of Oldest's capabilities, as far as intelligence.  But we were also learning the reality of her resistance to hard work and her often quick response of  "I just won't try at all" at the very first sign of challenge.  It was striking fear in my heart, because I hadn't yet learned that this is a little something called perfectionism.  I thought we might have one of those stories of "brilliant kid never uses gifts and ends up wasting her talent" that you hear about gifted kids from time to time.  

It reminded me of Edison's quote, "success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration."   

I wrote the Potter quote down in brigthly colored crayon and posted it over my computer.  I wanted it in a place where Oldest could see it every day, even if we never talked about it.  I wanted it to gradually mold her thinking to "I can't just rest on my intelligence.  I have to make good choices, choices that require hard work, if I'm ever going to go anywhere in life."  Yes, it's a lot to try to plant into a 5 year old's psyche, but I truly believe much of a child's lifetime capacity happens when they are very young.

I started living this in real life.  Without making a big deal about it, I started interjecting into regular conversations, "well, you know our family.  We're hard workers."  OR  "We make good choices."  Sometimes randomly, always when she complained about the difficulty of something.  I wanted her to intermalize that kind of thinking for when things were hard for her.  

And you know what?  It's working.  Some days it's really noticeable, some days it seems to have flown out the window.  Most days, I'm seeing that her mindset is shifting a little bit at a time.  And the most wonderful part is that Youngest, starting at the ground floor of this thinking, is just internalizing it from the beginning.  

It's our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities.


Do you have a quote you live by?  What is it about that quote that you love?


***Fascinatingly, I discovered this article about the similarities of Harry Potter and gifted kids while trying to find the book the quote came from - it's worth a look.***  

Happiness in February is . . .

Order in the House!  I have to say I'm completely dreading it  thrilled to get some order back to certain aspects of our sadly cluttered home.

Gretchen Rubin, in her book and blog The Happiness Project, did her declutter/organization in January as part of her "get energy" month.  The very thought of decluttering and organizing my "stuff" strikes such dread and fear into my heart that I had to get energy in January in order to have the stamina to pull this off for February.

Think I'm kidding?  The last time I decluttered and organized was 3 years ago - same time of year actually.  I had just learned I was pregnant with Youngest and went into full "prepare the house before I get too portly to do anything but eat ice cream and watch my ankles swell" mode.  It was a fun time.  I actually had to hire a personal organizer for help.

This time - I'm going to try it alone.  Except maybe with a little help from places like 1,2,3 Get Organized, Unclutterer, and Take Control Organizing (none of whom have paid me to promote them, sadly).

So here's the February plan if you want to join up.  My resolutions this month (in addition to last month's resolutions - it's a cumulative project, dint'cha know?) are:

1. Clear my closets.  Which is actually the whole house.  The goal is to do this, one hour a day (can you HEAR my panicked little heart a-beating even over the internet?) for the first two weeks of February.
2. Restore, maintain, organize.  The last two weeks of February will be spent "finding a place for everything and everything in its place."  Thump-thump.  Thump-thump.  Thump-thump.
3. Tidy up at night before bed.  I'm not thrilled with this, especially when added to last month's evening resolutions, but I'll give it a go for one month.  
4. Train that puppy of ours.  Yes, this does fit.  If I'm bringing order back to the house, then having a moderately trained animal rather than the currently untrained beast is of paramount importance.  
5. Buy a vacuum cleaner.  Don't even ask.  
6. Make a list of nagging tasks and begin it.  This is one of my favorite ideas of Gretchen's.  All the little things you ignore about your life - put them on a list and start slogging through them.  #1 on my list?  My wedding ring has been un-attached to my engagement ring for 4 years at least.  It drives me crazy, flopping around multiple times a day.  It's just one of those things I can't/won't bring myself to take the time to do.  Until today.
7. Make and post inspiring signs around the house.  Poems I like, things we say as a family, etc.  Oldest is going to help and is so pumped about this. 
8. Start a 1 sentence gratitude journal.  I'm actually going to create another blog to do this.  Just keep it unpublished.

Almost all of these come straight from one of Gretchen's lists.  She came up with some great ones in her year long study and I'm borrowing many this month.  Probably because I can't think straight and come up with my own - that's how much I'm dreading looking forward to this month.  By the way, did you know The Happiness Project will be #1 on the New York Times bestseller list for the week of February 7th?  It really is that good!

#7 and 8 are ways to remind myself to stick with it  - no matter what.  I know we'll all be happier after it's done.  And I'm going to solicit help from Husband, Oldest and even Youngest.  Husband is practically giddy about this month's resolutions.  Seriously.  

As a matter of fact, yesterday was a pretty uninspiring, blechy day around here.  Something about Youngest on her 5th day of fever and all of us having cabin fever.  I decided to jump start the declutter and clean out the upstairs closet.  Drat, I should have taken before and after pictures - totally doing that with the rest.  And guess what?  It felt . . .gooooooooooooooood to do it.  Not nearly as painful as I'd assumed.  

And I can't wait for tomorrow.  Really.  I.  Can't.  Wait.

I am completely open to tips and help.  What you've found works or doesn't in your own organization pasts - Puh-lease help a girl out if you know something I don't.

P.S.  See how close I am to 100 followers?  My offer stands all week - my 100th follower gets your button on my sidebar for the month of February.  If you don't have a blog or a button, let's figure out some other fun way to recognize you for your love!   It IS February after all . . . 

Suzuki Piano Recitals = Sweet Music

My 6 word Saturday post told you someone had a recital that day.  Some of you, I think, believed it was my recital.  Alas, no.  Oldest had her first Suzuki Piano recital of the year. 

What do you know about the Suzuki method?  I didn't know much either when we started almost 2 years ago.  I just liked the idea that the lessons were one-on-one, rather than group.  When we started, we had all of these "rules:"

1. I attended alone for 2 months.
2. I was to attend and "participate" in the lesson.
3. Younger siblings stayed home unless they could play quietly or draw during the lesson.
4. I had to read a book about the method before starting. 
5. We had to observe another student before starting to see the method in action.

Stuff like that.  And let me tell ya - I almost didn't sign her up after we observed the other student (probably wouldn't have, but we'd already paid into it).  The student was like . . . brilliant.  A virtuoso.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

She was also the same age as Oldest.  I went to my next (and last) personal lesson before Oldest started and said, "I am shocked.  She's so good."  When what I wanted to say was, "Why did you have me watch a virtuoso?  Why not have me watch one of your "regular kids," you know, like mine's going to be.  I just had her in a keyboarding group class and she did awful." 

The teacher just said, "She's been taking a little over a year now - that's where Oldest will be next year."  I didn't believe her.   

Then. 

Oldest lost TV all Memorial Day weekend, about 2 months after she started.  The only thing she could "think of" to do to entertain herself was play piano.  It was a major turn for both of us.  I started to see the method in action.

The Suzuki Method is not unlike the Montessori Method, assuming that every child, through hard work and concentration, has great potential.  Shinichi Suzuki strongly believed adults weren't born with raw "talent," that "talent" appears only through hard work and repetition.  And a nurturing environment.

He's right, of course, but you should hear people's reactions when they hear Oldest play something like Ecossaise, which was her Recital piece.  They are flabbergasted, frankly.  Like, "What talent!  What do you do!  She's amazing!" 

And I, knowing it's just the method at work, smile and tell them the Suzuki method of piano is the best choice we made with Oldest's music lessons.  That they should give it a try. 

But guess what?  When I hear the Older kids play things like Book 4, which she will get to when she's around 14, I am the one who is flabbergasted.  The boy (15) who plays ahead of us right now is SO GOOD!  I recently said this to the teacher - "My God!  He's so good!"  Because even I forget about the method when I listen to the older kids.  Her reply?  "Oh, well, that's where Oldest will be in about 6 years." 

So matter of fact about it.  But then again, she's been teaching for 30ish years, I think, so she's seen it many, many times. 

What's my point today? 

One - To tell you the Recital went great.   When you listen to kids ranging from 4 to 16 years old, you get a wonderful cross section of "where you've been" and "what you will become."  And we have become a little community of families who all share the same love of this method and the results we see in all of our children.

Two - The activities you enroll your child in really do make a big difference.  Had we stuck with the group keyboarding, we would have walked away thinking she had no "talent" and that she wasn't "meant" to be a piano player.  With some research and a bit of a leap of faith, though, she's in a program that fits her needs and personality "practically perfectly in every way." 

Three - Sometimes I love my children so much I could eat them - Saturday was one of those days.  But it doesn't matter how many times she attends these recitals (Saturday was her 4th), Husband and I are always so nervous we can hardly speak until she's done.  Oldest?  Not at all - which is one of the things I love most about children - they don't yet GET what a big deal it is to play alone in a room full of people. 

Four - Youngest will officially start when she turns 3.  THREE!  Can you believe it?  She already gets up on the bench and "does her practice," which already echoes the tempo of what she hears Oldest doing. 

Amazing.