Oh, Poop!

Youngest will only use the following phrase when she needs to eliminate:  "MOM, I NEEDA GO POOP."  As you read that, make sure you do it in your LOUD reading voice to fully understand the vigor with which she communicates.

Yesterday she yelled this to me from the living room, "MOM, I NEEDA GO POOP."  She had a dress on, so I said, equally vigorously, "OK, GO ON INTO THE BATHROOM AND GO POO-POO."

She said, "NO, MOM, I NEEDA GO POOP, NOT POO-POO, AND I NEEDA GO IN THE LIVING ROOM." 

I say, "NO, you can go to the bathoom honey.  Off you go." 

Next thing I know, there's a lot of grunting and straining coming from . . . the hallway. 

Time to investigate. 

 Here comes Youngest, huffing and puffing down the hall, CARRYING her potty, in order to GO POOP in the living room per her request.  That I denied. 

I say, "Honey, what are you doing?" 

She says, "Mooooommm, I REALLY wanna GO POOP in the living room.  I told you that two times already!" 

Montessori and its "kids are capable" stuff.  Really, sometimes it's just too much.  2 year olds moving toilets to eliminate in the location of their choice takes "kids are capable" to a whole new level, doesn't it? 

Got any good summer day stories of your own to share today? 

The Think Positive Plan

In keeping with my ideas, tips and tricks for NOT YELLING AT THE KIDS, I have to share this article from the March issue of Family Fun magazine.

Written by Kristin Bock, it provides the final piece of the puzzle for two things I'm already doing.  I'm already writing a one-sentence gratitude journal each day (started in February) and we already name two "good things and two bad things" from each of our days.  The final piece?  Kristin suggests that after one reminder, start counting negative statements and expect an equal number of positive statements by day's end.

I LOVE THIS IDEA.  It is so proactive, one of Missy's Maxims!

I've posted yesterday and today about two areas that are a major source of yelling for me - Youngest waking up multiple times a night (and I don't yell at her THEN, it's the build up of fatigue and my annoyance with myself that "helps" me to yell later) and Oldest's insistence on negativity when she's upset about something.  It's classic perfectionism - and I get that.  Heck, I DO that sometimes.

But there is only so much freaking out berating oneself "negative reaction to an upsetting situation" before I handle it in the "extremely mature, adult-like response" of yelling, sometimes quite loudly.  And how does that solve the problem?  Modeling a negative reaction to negative behavior will only perpetuate the negative behavior, right?

Which is why I love this idea to put the ball in Oldest's court - be as negative as you want, just know I'm keeping count (after one warning) and then you have to reciprocate with positive statements.  Hmmm, I might even make her put them on paper and deposit them into our new Emotions Bank Account I learned about in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't share with you this awesome tip from Veteran Kindergarten Teacher -

"One thing I try in my classroom is complete silence. I look at the children and don't say a word. That usually gets their attention. Then I talk quietly but firmly about what I am seeing and what needs to change."  


I'll let you know how these changes are working out this month.  Do you have any ideas to share? Anything that works especially well for you?  

Happiness took a hit last week

Monday is Happiness Project Day - inspired by Gretchen Rubin, her book and website called the Happiness Project.  Not only do I recommend her book, but I love her blog as well.  Very inspiring.

As today's titles suggests, I hit some bumps, struggled  failed miserably for parts of last week.  There were a couple of days where I would literally snarl with rage over challenges I faced.  Challenges that were legitimately frustrating, but I'd handled similar situations in January just fine, so what gave out last week?  Examples include:

1. The Puppy's continued house training accidents.
2. Youngest not napping enough, or at all.
3. Youngest not eating or drinking to the point of "near dehydration."  Funny how fear can manifest as rage, isn't it?
4. Having a long, difficult decision making meeting, where some people left unhappy.
5. Oldest having to stay home from school sick on the first day I had to myself get "stuff" done.

So if these are issues I handled just fine last month, why did I give way to unhappiness last week?  The answer, in retrospect, is easy.  I put aside at least 4 of Missy's Maxims and allowed myself to get swept away by fear, resentment, frustration and fatigue.  I broke these:

1. Proactive, not reactive.
2. BE in the moment.
3. STAR - Stop, Think, Act Right.
4. Practice patience.

I can cut myself a little slack (remembering my maxim to strive for betterment, not perfection) and recognize that really sick kids are stressful, not getting anything accomplished in your life for almost a week is really stressful and the world continuing to operate regardless of your need to STOP for awhile is stressful as well.

For a few nights I went to bed saying, "Please let tomorrow be better."  Then it wasn't (worse actually) and I felt more and more helpless with my escalating reactions to life's general annoyances.  Until Wednesday night, when I went to bed saying, "Tomorrow WILL be better.  I am the one who can make it so."  And . . . it was.  Considerably.  

I learned a couple of things about myself this week, integral to my happiness for this project:

1. When I'm not accomplishing, I get increasingly frustrated and angry until I can "right" it.
2. Being proactive, rather than reactive, might be the single most important maxim on my list.  

One final note.  Some of you may (or may not!) be wondering how I "scored" in January's resolutions.  Out of 31 days:

1. Food diary and exercise - I kept the food diary 29/31 days and I averaged 5 days per week on exercising.  I lost 9 pounds.  Met that goal splendidly.  We were also supposed to eat in 4x/week and we did, which is a little boring, but does save money.
2. Skin care nightly - I did this 23/31 times.  Pretty good.
3. Putting the dishes in the dishwasher nightly - 28/31 times - score!
4. IBBE - In bed by eleven nightly - 20/31 times.  Definitely needs improvement - because I'm still tired!  For February I've moved the bedtime back to 10:45pm nightly.  Ugh.  

So that's January.  How did you do?   


And let me know - what do you do when you get off track - when you allow life to control you, rather than controlling your response to life?  

Here's to a happier week for all!