Saturday, November 28, 2009

Dear Santa

Why a letter to Santa?  From a grown-up?  Because Santa is magic and he brings things you can find nowhere else. 

Dear Santa -

Please see my enclosed wish list for Christmas this year.  I have bolded and italicized those things most important for a fulfilling 2010.  I hope this letter finds you well, fattening up for the big trip.  I could use a little less fattening up from the last few days, but I'll address that below.  Tell the Missus I say hello.  I'll bet it's hard to be a single mom with you so busy the entire month of December.

Missy's Santa List - Christmas 2009. 
  1. Sleep dust.  Sprinkle a little on myself each night, enabling me to stop doing things and just go to bed.  Seriously, buddy.  I really mean it this year.  I've been asking for this since Christmas of 2002, which, coincidentally, was the year Oldest was born. 
  2. A blogging fairy.  Can you bring me a little fairy who can run around my blog enhancing it?  I would prefer this at night, so I have fun little surprises to wake up to (besides the current fun little surprise of what time Lilly's going to wake up each day). 
  3. An office organization fairy.  Same idea as #2.
  4. Willpower widget.  After the "most wonderful time of year," I ususally need that pretty badly.  Just click and voila!  Instant willpower.
  5. The Instant Einsten.  I have many, many, many things I still want to learn.  Sadly, my time is limited.  I'll give you my "subjects," you download them to a chip and then I just insert them in the back of my neck. 
  6. The Motivator.  Our family, as a whole, has challenges leaving the house on my time schedule for certain functions.  I am tired of this.  The Motivator will, of course, "motivate" them to get to the car when needed.  It even does this without pain for the first 20 times someone is running a little behind, which I think is a nice learning curve for our straggler(s). 
  7. The Silence is Golden Switch.  I mainly need this for the car.  Flip that little switcheroo and Ahhhhhh, instant silence.
  8. Rudeness Repellant.  I think this comes as a perfume.  I wear it, people are unable to be rude around me.  Everyone's happy(er).
  9. Lie Detector.  Always wanted one.  Don't like liars.  Period.
  10. And the ususal - Peace on Earth, Goodwill to men and maybe a few more date nights for just the two of us thrown in for giggles.
  11. OK, one final thing - the H1N1 House Bag.  No one in our family wants the Swine Flu.  Especially this "stronger strain" or "more virulent spreading" that "they" are saying might happen this spring.  So the Bag I'm talking about needs to be large enough to fit over our house - kinda like the turkey bags some people just cooked with on T-giving.  Bow to tie it off is optional. 
Santa, I've scoured the stores for these items and they're just not there.  Target, WalMart, specialty stores, Macy's, Nordstrom, Best Buy, Sharper Image, - nuthin' - all sold out, apparently.  I have faith in you, my long-time benefactor, to pull through for me this year.  Let's make it a GREAT 2010! 

Hugs and Kisses,
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