You Say it's Your Birthday?

No?  It's actually mine.  

My day is a study in contradictions:

~I want Husband to surprise me, but I already went out and got everything I wanted . . . 
~I want a BREAK FROM MY KIDS!  Except it's my birthday, I want to share it with them . . . 
~I want to feel special, but right now I feel overwhelmed . . . 
~I want to be contacted by all of my friends and family, but don't really want to spend hours on the phone . . . 
~I want a surprise party, but I really don't . . . 
~I want the day to be all about me, but I'm way too old for that . . . 


How can I possibly be pleased with all of those emotions?  This is my last birthday in my 30's, unless I start calling my birthday the "anniversary of my 39th birthday" from now on.  I'm trying to be OK with that.

Tomorrow we're having 20 people over to our house for the weekend to celebrate Oldest's first communion on Saturday.  As luck would have it, 3 other people on Husband's side of the family have birthdays right now too - within about 10 days.  So we're having a 4-way party tomorrow night for all of us (2 adults, 2 kids), then Oldest's day is Saturday, with a party after her communion.  I'm trying to be OK, no HAPPY, about all of this hoopla, when I wouldn't mind just lying in bed all day reading a novel.  And eating cookies.  Iced ones.

So how DO I get past this?  Just appreciate my many blessings, I suppose - a wonderful Husband, healthy, fun kids, my own good health, our annual family birthday dinner to my favorite place, having a good relationship with my parents.  And a hope that the kids don't MAKE ME CRAZY TODAY!  Maybe I need to remove all rules and regulations for them today too.  Cheetos for breakfast?  Sure, it's Mommy's birthday.  Fresca in your lunch box?  Why not - it's Mommy's birthday.  TV all day?  Absolutely, maybe it will give me some time to catch up on my Google Reader.

Everybody needs a break from the responsibilities of life sometimes.  Why not today?