Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear So and So Inaugural Edition

I am beyond thrilled, titillated really, to be jumping on the "Dear So and So" train.  I've been entertained (literally howling at times) over Jen and Laughing at Chaos for the last few months and her letters to people.  I hope to come up with letters that bring half as much mirth or empathy to your day as this subject's brought to mine.

So without further ado, let us begin:

Dear Neighbors,
Yeah.  You guys have been a little "out there" since you moved in.  Using one arm to cut down limbs with a chain saw while standing on the top rung of the ladder, other arm wrapped around the tree.  Building what Husband calls the "Stage" next to our driveway, practically giving you a front row view into both of our bathrooms.  We can live with you though.  What?  What did you say?  You decided the up the weird factor over the last few weeks?  How do you mean?  Oh, yes, I remember now.  Ringing our doorbell at 2am two weeks ago to have us pay your cab fare, then taking 30 minutes to find your keys to get in your house while we stood outside shivering.  That WAS a good one.  And we thought that was plenty, really.  Really.  What?  There was more?  Waking up that puppy of ours at 4 am last Friday night because your late night singing of Tesla's "Love Song" made her howl?  Oh, yeah.  We remember now.  I like the song too, you know.  Sober and before midnight are my requests for the next time.  K?

Please stop. 

Dear Oldest, 
You know I love you, child.  But you have to stop freaking out on Youngest.  She's 2.  Can you cut her a little slack, sister?  Need I remind you that you were 2 once?  I know I've lived through the zany antics of a 2 year old and you haven't, but trust me, you were no walk in the park either, girly!

Wondering how many nights in a row I have to send you to bed at the same time as your sister until you can stop

Dear Youngest,
I know you're 2.  Like I just told your sister, I've been through it before.  But here's a little secret.   Shhhh don't tell her.  It would go a looooooonnnnnng way if you just stop giving Oldest reasons to freak out!  Really, do you have to do the running, wrestler-move body slam on her head EVERY time she's lying on the floor?  Every time?  I think not.  We don't even watch wrestling and anyway, YOU'RE A GIRL.  Where are the babies little girls love so much?  Oh you love babies?  Especially swinging them around and into your sister's body, just for giggles?
Ok, at least we have that straigtened out.

Wondering what is the world record for time outs?

Dear Gymnastics Mom,
Thanks for helping me complete my quest to find the most obnoxious kid names EVER.  Tegan and Buckley?  Really?

Now I've heard them all, time to write the book

Dear my children's Doctor,
I appreciate your humor immensely.  Methinks we think alike.  Yesterday, when you told me Oldest has adenovirus and I gave you the deer in the headlights stare because I don't know what that is, your shrugging reply of "A den no" was quite witty.  It would have been less witty had you said she needed to stay home for the 7-10 days this is supposed to last, so lucky you!  And me.

A girl lovin' humor on a day when she couldn't remember for the life of her what shirt she'd put on but refused to look because no one can be that absent-minded or pre-occupied 

Dear Jen at Chaos, 
Seriously, this was more fun than watching country boys mud wrestle pigs.  Thanks for showing me "Dear So and So" from 3bedroom

Girls need to get their kicks somewhere

Dear Readers,
If YOU want to sign up, just head over to 3bedroom's site and do it!  Sooooo fun.

Missy  :)
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