Well, well, well. Here we are at the end of June. 6 months into 2010. 6 months into My Happiness Project, as defined by Gretchen Rubin and her lovely book with that title. I thought it would be fun to check into my psyche and see if I'm happier.
My day to day ups and downs are very much related to the kid's moods - and mine. If they're really difficult or low, I am too. Then my bad mood will perpetuate theirs and create a circle that it's hard to break out of.
I do believe, though, that I'm generally happy. "Things happen" (or as popularized on a bumper sticker years ago) "shit happens." Life it hard. It takes effort. Almost all of the time.
But to quote the movie, Life is Beautiful too. In all of its heartache, challenges and difficulties, life is quite beautiful and satisfying.
Tonight I made a mistake in judgment on the way home from a party. I convinced everyone to stop for Chinese food at 8:20pm. We didn't get our order until 8:45, didn't get home until almost 9. The kids weren't happy with their choices, everyone was tired and I just wanted to be done with my "mommy duties" for the night. I got crabby with them as I was rushing them to bed. Then Husband came upstairs to sing our family song before bed, saying "Your dog just had an accident, ladies." Oldest immediately jumped up, said, "I'll take care of it - Mommy's having a rough patch here and I want to help her out."
And that, right there, is why life is so beautiful. Discovering your child really is developing empathy and a sense of community, underneath all that "kid stuff" that we get caught up in so often. Getting glimpses of the adult they will become - seeing all of your hard work beginning to shine through, even if only for a moment.
Among other things, what I'm going to focus on in the 2nd half of 2010's Happiness Project is the process. I will not arrive at happiness on December 31st this year, because happiness isn't an end state - it's found in the journey.
What will you focus on in the second half?
Have a Happy Day.