Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Think Positive Plan

In keeping with my ideas, tips and tricks for NOT YELLING AT THE KIDS, I have to share this article from the March issue of Family Fun magazine.

Written by Kristin Bock, it provides the final piece of the puzzle for two things I'm already doing.  I'm already writing a one-sentence gratitude journal each day (started in February) and we already name two "good things and two bad things" from each of our days.  The final piece?  Kristin suggests that after one reminder, start counting negative statements and expect an equal number of positive statements by day's end.

I LOVE THIS IDEA.  It is so proactive, one of Missy's Maxims!

I've posted yesterday and today about two areas that are a major source of yelling for me - Youngest waking up multiple times a night (and I don't yell at her THEN, it's the build up of fatigue and my annoyance with myself that "helps" me to yell later) and Oldest's insistence on negativity when she's upset about something.  It's classic perfectionism - and I get that.  Heck, I DO that sometimes.

But there is only so much freaking out berating oneself "negative reaction to an upsetting situation" before I handle it in the "extremely mature, adult-like response" of yelling, sometimes quite loudly.  And how does that solve the problem?  Modeling a negative reaction to negative behavior will only perpetuate the negative behavior, right?

Which is why I love this idea to put the ball in Oldest's court - be as negative as you want, just know I'm keeping count (after one warning) and then you have to reciprocate with positive statements.  Hmmm, I might even make her put them on paper and deposit them into our new Emotions Bank Account I learned about in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't share with you this awesome tip from Veteran Kindergarten Teacher -

"One thing I try in my classroom is complete silence. I look at the children and don't say a word. That usually gets their attention. Then I talk quietly but firmly about what I am seeing and what needs to change."  

I'll let you know how these changes are working out this month.  Do you have any ideas to share? Anything that works especially well for you?  

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